Dark Paradise
by Writer'sFantasy
Summary: "My life and love was dead and my heart still says he's somewhere but my mind knows he is long gone never to return and comfort me while I'm suffering, I just want to die." Marron suffers through her grief that spirals into disaster of her dark paradise. (One-Shot/ suggestive dark theme)


**_Dark Paradise_**

Warning: Character Death and Dark Themes.

EDIT: Due to the rules of the site I am deleting the Lyrics for this fan fiction So thank you for all the support given, and if you want to here the song that goes along it's Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey, Thank you and if I'm allowed I will provide a raw version somewhere else in the internet :)

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_"He's dead Marron." _were the only words that rang through my head now. They didn't let me rest. I refused to sleep, or eat. I haven't spoken ever since the news. No sound emitted through my throat since that day. My cheerful blue eyes died and turned to a stormy grey color full of grief and torment. I refused to sleep knowing _he_ would appear in my dreams. He would bring back the cheerful memory of my past life and when my eyes opened, I woke in an empty bed. No one to lay beside me and kiss me goodnight. No one to tell me _I love you. _His warmth, his smile, his carefree attitude, his smell and his voice all gone. Far from reach. I can't live knowing that my life is nothing without him.

I gripped the sheets that are the same sheets from the last night I spent with him. I haven't changed them since. His clothing was still scattered across the room along with his shoes. I held back a sob as I let my eyes close and all the memories filled my senseless brain. His song played inside my head as the ocean smashed against the small house of Kame island causing all the floorboards to creak. I mouthed the words his songs letting a couple of tears fall against my utterly dry skin.

My mind began replaying the day he had told me he loved me. It was a rainy Wednesday afternoon on April seventeenth. I was screaming at him for over an hour because he had mortally wounded my boyfriend for beating me. I didn't understand him then. But when he had his firm hands gripped on my shoulders shaking me back and forth telling me he loves me. I understood everything and why he would be so interested in my love life. He wouldn't allow any boy to touch me, He was very possessive but that's what I loved about him. But now that the person that only meaning was to love and protect me was gone. I felt in danger. I'm scared. I'm alone...

I remembered his sun-kissed skin and how I loved to feel his surprisingly soft face. How his royal-blue eyes would light up when he saw me. His sincere and genuine laughter that would always make me feel better after a bad day. His amazing jaw-line was still haunting my memory to this day. How tender soft his lips were that would make me melt at the touch. His silky hair that would fall perfectly on his face. I missed how his muscular arms would wrap around me telling me everything is alright. He was so perfect and they had to take my only source of happiness away from me. I was a good person, I didn't deserve this. I was always there to help the good. Why does karma repay me like this? _My life and love was dead and my heart still says he's somewhere but my mind knows he is long gone never to return and comfort me while I'm suffering, I just want to die._

I was suffering. I didn't know what to do anymore. Die or keep fighting. Could I even withstand the torture? I close my eyes and see him running to save me but when I open my eyes I'm trapped in this meaningless life. No ones is around to tell me I am the reason they keep fighting. I would avoid anything that has to do with him but it was useless. I would move in time and everything keeps getting worse. I was only twenty-four and I was internally suffering. He was my one and only. That's what I told him at the chapel. Why couldn't I be warned that he was leaving forever. How could they just leave me to fend for myself. Does he even know what is going on in the living?

The memory of him squeezing my hand as my first child was born sent chills through my spine. My baby boy who was took away from his clinically depressed mother who technically is mentally ill said by Son Gohan at the tender age of Two. He wasn't allowed to see me anymore. All because of the idiotic action of a human being. I closed my eyes and gave a sad smile that turned into a fit of sobs. What was the point of life. No lover. No child. No friends. Where am I spiraling into.

Sometimes I ask myself why I am strong enough to subdue some of the emotional pain and force a smile on my face. Even though I want to jump into fiery pit and finally leave. I want to, but when I do. _he_ returns and I could hear him tell me not to. He tells me to live for him. But how am I to live without you. It was living without oxygen, or a heartbeat. Impossible. When I would reach out for his aid and he wasn't there it pained me. His voice would echo in my mind telling me _"Go on without me." _I did so just because I didn't want to see him hurt. But... does he want me hurt?

I want to feel him again his breath against my neck, His voice echoing inside of my head telling me the words "I love you" which I never paid attention to till his death. Does he know how it's like having to live for him when his own child taken to a foster care home because his own wife is incapable to get up from her bed and help her child because she is grieving over her husband who was _DEAD_. I could never just push him out of my mind. It wasn't so easy. It will never be. I close my eyes and see his beautiful face once again stroking my cheek telling. "Just live for us." I felt like screaming at him telling him it isn't that easy to live for the two of us.

I closed my eyes and saw him once again in the same clothes I left him in only bloodier. A pair of black jeans and a normal tee with a large bloody stain circling his whole torso. He had kissed my forehead and told me he'd be back soon. Well that was a kami-damned lie. His ghostly pale hand stroked my cheek and clenched his arms around me. I sobbed on his chest begging him to take me with him. He told me hold your breath and sit and wait, and I'll be with him sooner than I think. I wanted to have him with me. I didn't want to wait it's been so long since I last saw him. Even if this is part of my dreams all I wanted was him.

My eyes flew open already watery and about to have tears cascade down my skin. I hated it. I want him here with me, or me with him. I didn't care as long as I got to hear his soothing voice against my ear always telling me everything is fine. I want to feel his special warmth once again, I want to feel his lips on last time, I want to smell his somewhat seductive scent once more. It wasn't fair. It was unbearable to live in such emotional pain. He haunts my dreams when it is I do sleep and it was heart-breaking waking up to remembering he was dead.

For the first time since his funeral. I stood up from the bed. Slowly walking to the bathroom staring at my dull grey eyes and unbelievably pale and bony face. I looked dead. Just as dead as him. I already died emotionally and mentally. Physically and spiritually I was barely even living. I opened the cabinet and saw the array of pills sitting on the shelfs.

Was I taking it to far? I wanted to know how this would end up. I closed my eyes watching him give a small shrug. Was this a dream. Was this all a big nightmare that I wasn't allowed to wake up from. I don't know anymore. I just want his tender lips on mine telling me that everything will be fine now and forever.

I took a handful of the colorful but deadly pills and kept them in my hands, just waiting for a sign. For something not to allow me from doing this. I couldn't take the torture of his presence. Their was nothing on earth that could replace the man he was. I only understood that the day he died. He was so perfect and amazing in every way possible and now he is gone. When I sleep he appears and I could feel him touch me in my sleep.

I swallowed hard and finally creaked out. "Trunks, I love you forgive me for this, I can't take it I need you I have become a wreck and it's affected me in so many ways, Darling I hope you accept me." I sobbed swallowing all the pills in my hand. I fell to my knees loosing all my senses. I was fading away. No one was there to comfort me. I spiraled into my small pit of darkness. I drowned in the darkness of my soul and there was no escape.

It was finally gone. All the pain. All the suffering. It was gone. I was in the middle of nowhere looking for my lover. My eyes darted left to right lost looking for him. His eyes were impossible to miss.

My eyes met with two beautiful orbs that gleamed in happiness. "Marron..." He shouted shoving the lost souls aside. I felt his hands run down my arms making sure I was there. He tugged me closer to his chest. His warmth, His smell, His strength, His lips they were all there. Tears cascaded down he ivory skin causing him to look at her bewildered. "I missed you so damn much."

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**_This is a one-shot I had in mind for a while now pretty sad right? It's very emotional and it was a one-shot basing everything emotionally based than descriptive. It was a challenge but I after all did enjoy it tell me your thoughts (Also this is a 'drabble' of mine since I don't frequently post one-shots I decided to post one today.) _****_Review and tell me any tips I could use to improve on. Thanks for reading! :)_**

**_Disclaimer: Also I do not own this song all of the lyrics and rights for the Song Dark Paradise belongs to Lana Del Rey in her album Born to Die. Please go support her if you liked the lyrics :) {EDIT: As I said before I had to delete the lyrics and if I'm allowed I'll post a link of my raw version}_**


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